So yesterday was Monday and i went to my first Overeaters Anonymous meeting it was not as intimidating as i thought it would be. There were only three other people there besides my husband and myself. It was really good and i think its what i need because it’s not a diet and it’s not centered around losing weight and how to eat. I know how to eat well and i most often do, but i have binges where i eat so much i feel sick and ashamed of myself so then i eat more it has become a really bad cycle. I know it’s mostly emotional and the other part of it is a physical dependence to sugar. So i have already cut way back on sugar, I don’t know if i mentioned it before that i started drinking my coffee black. It has helped i was drinking to much extra sugar in my coffee, and now that I have started drinking it black I am really enjoying coffee for its natural flavor.
My blogging is serving as my journaling I am not going to start recording everything i eat or anything like that because after all like i mentioned the food is just a symptom of a bigger problem. I am not going on a diet because i actually really enjoy eating healthy foods i love fruits and vegetables, whole grains, legumes. And i know how to cook so the big thing is that i do cook instead of eating out, fast food always makes me want to binge especially Taco Bell. I was really sad to do it but Taco Bell went on the list of places i will no longer eat i can not eat reasonably there and every time i eat there it triggers a binge that sometimes doesn’t stop for days. I also have to work really hard to eat breakfast and lunch which i often skip and then i overeat at night i think this is the most common aspect of overeating i know this is an issue most people have. I have a really weird habit of waking up in the middle of the night and eating and thats when it’s really bad, I will be half asleep just racing to eat whatever i can find as fast as i can and then i go back to sleep. When ever i wake up after that and i see what I have eaten i feel awful and the last thing i want to do is eat breakfast. So these are the things i have to work on i am actually really optimistic that i can do this. I have broken other addictions so i know i can do this.
I am going to have lunch now and then clean up a bit, my family is coming over and i want the house to look nice and after that im going to work out yeah im looking forward to that so i must go now.
Here is a funny video i found online yesterday