So yesterday was Monday and i went to my first Overeaters Anonymous meeting it was not as intimidating as i thought it would be. There were only three other people there besides my husband and myself. It was really good and i think its what i need because it’s not a diet and it’s not centered around losing weight and how to eat. I know how to eat well and i most often do, but i have binges where i eat so much i feel sick and ashamed of myself so then i eat more it has become a really bad cycle. I know it’s mostly emotional and the other part of it is a physical dependence to sugar. So i have already cut way back on sugar, I don’t know if i mentioned it before that i started drinking my coffee black. It has helped i was drinking to much extra sugar in my coffee, and now that I have started drinking it black I am really enjoying coffee for its natural flavor.
My blogging is serving as my journaling I am not going to start recording everything i eat or anything like that because after all like i mentioned the food is just a symptom of a bigger problem. I am not going on a diet because i actually really enjoy eating healthy foods i love fruits and vegetables, whole grains, legumes. And i know how to cook so the big thing is that i do cook instead of eating out, fast food always makes me want to binge especially Taco Bell. I was really sad to do it but Taco Bell went on the list of places i will no longer eat i can not eat reasonably there and every time i eat there it triggers a binge that sometimes doesn’t stop for days. I also have to work really hard to eat breakfast and lunch which i often skip and then i overeat at night i think this is the most common aspect of overeating i know this is an issue most people have. I have a really weird habit of waking up in the middle of the night and eating and thats when it’s really bad, I will be half asleep just racing to eat whatever i can find as fast as i can and then i go back to sleep. When ever i wake up after that and i see what I have eaten i feel awful and the last thing i want to do is eat breakfast. So these are the things i have to work on i am actually really optimistic that i can do this. I have broken other addictions so i know i can do this.
I am going to have lunch now and then clean up a bit, my family is coming over and i want the house to look nice and after that im going to work out yeah im looking forward to that so i must go now.
Here is a funny video i found online yesterday
Beauty School Dropout
the rantings and ravings of a Super Dorky Crafty Mother/Bartender/Beauty School Dropout/BabyMaker
My Name is Tamara
I am a super dorky milk-bot mother of two monkey babies. I live in Tennessee. I stay up way to late listening to music and wandering around the net while my family is sleeping. During the day my two girls Juniper and Scarlet Sparrow take up most of my time when i have the time i like to make things and hang out with my awesome hubby..
http://www.myspace.com/hyperjinx
My StumbleUpon Page
Meetings are really good, as long as you find one that you like and you are comfortable with. I love going to meetings, but just don’t have the time so I settle for the ones I go to when I’m at work, I just can’t share in front of my kids.
You’ll get a lot out of it.
Also, a diet is simply what you eat. If you want your diet to contain sweets and sodas, then do it. Just don’t overdo it!! I think that that’s a big part that anyone with an eating disorder/problem has is managing a diet that they are really OK with. Most people get caught up on counting calories or that it has to all be healthy with fruits and baked foods. No. You just need to have that self-control and ease your anxiety by being OK with food. And don’t punish yourself if you have a little too much of something. You can take away from your next meal.
I have always done very well with having 5 small meals a day. Sometimes when I eat only 3 a day, I wind up pigging out during snacks, so it’s like I have 5 BIG meals a day. It helps with your cravings and keeps you from feeling hungry. You’re satisfied throughout the day!!
Hope I didn’t sound too clinical or anything.
I need these meetings. I am SOOOO an emotional overeater, especially when I get stressed out. After Christmas all I wanted to do was eat, I guess b/c I’d had so much good food and sweets and stuff and I just didn’t want to stop eating, but the past week I’ve done really well, I’ve tried to drink more water, and I’ve tried to stop myself evertime I go in the kitchen, I ask myself, am I really hungry? and if I am, I try to eat a normal portion instead of a feast. Its going to be a tough battle for me but I’m so tired of feeling sluggish and I want to be healthy so I have to do this now b/c I don’t want to be 50 and on the verge of a disease before I get there. I can’t believe you found a meeting like that, that’s so cool.